Make Your Friends Laugh Jokes

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John and Pedro

Two guys, John and Pedro are sitting at their house.

John tells Pedro that he is tired of being unemployed and wants to go to Community College. Pedro agrees it’s a good idea.

Thus John meets with the admission officer and enrolls Pre-algebra, English, Government, and Logic.

“Logic?” John asks, “what’s that?”

The admission says, “I’ll show you. Do you own a lawnmower?”

“Yeah.”

“Then logically speaking, because you own a lawnmower, I think that you would have a yard.”

“That’s true, I do have a yard.”

“I’m not done,” the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.”

“Yes, I do have a house!”

“And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.”

“I have a family.”

“I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife.”

“Yes, I do have a wife.”

“And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be heterosexual.”

“I am heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a lawnmower.”

Excited to take the class now, John shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Pedro at the bar. He tells Pedro about his classes, how he has signed up for Math, English, History and Logic.

“Logic?” Pedro says, “What’s that?”

“I’ll show you,” says John. “Do you have a lawnmower?”

“No.”

“Then you’re gay…..”

The Great Boss

A man is known for never losing a bet, One day he bets his boss that if he takes off his pants he’ll give him a hundred dollars,

His boss gets excited, this looks like an easy bet, he can actually beat him for once and break his record.

Sure, he replies and takes off his pants.

The man gives him a hundred dollars.

His boss is shocked

What, I won the bet that easily, this guy is stupid

Out of curiosity, he asks the guy, I thought u never lose a bet, how did u lose to me.

The guy replies, I needed the money, I bet everyone else at work 10000 that I can get you to take off your pants,

The boss turns around and looks into the window only to see all his employs staring